Letting go can be one of the most difficult tasks to accomplish. At the same time, failing to do so welcomes stress because you end up thinking too much of things in the past which you know very well cannot be changed. This negatively affects quality of life.
Thankfully enough, the power to let past hurts go resides within you. It is more of a conscious decision; you have the power to reframe your thoughts and your actions for a better life. Here are 8 ways to let go of past hurts.
1. Always stay positive
We have an intrinsic tendency to feel unlucky any time we are hurt. It even worsens when you decide to start making comparisons with others. For instance, “Why is this always happen to you but not anyone you know.” Instead of doing that, having a mantra that you tell yourself anytime you face such situations can really help. For instance, if a friend just ended their friendship with you, instead of hurting yourself by saying, you cannot believe this happened to you, say something like this: “this has given me an opportunity to follow a better path in life.”
2. Forgive for your own sake
If your decision is to wait for the one who has caused you pain to apologise to you, think again. Doing this can prolong the process of letting go – especially if the person still hasn’t realised their mistake or has decided not to show remorse – so think of it this way: you are not going to let that person who has caused you pain ruin your entire life. You need to forgive for your own sake because it plays a crucial role in your healing process as you let go of sadness, anger, and all that bad energy.
3. Distance yourself
Most of the time, being around the person or situation which is the root cause of your pain can be really distressing. Clinical psychologists like Ramani Durvasula agree that because of this, it’s a good idea to distance yourself. In her own words, “Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much,” she explains.
4. Feel free to talk about it
There are times you end up dealing with pain because you feel no one wants you to talk about it. Never think that talking about your troubles makes you feel like a burden onto others. This gradually eats you up in the inside because you are the only one fighting that demon within you. Finding a compassionate friend you trust and letting it all out will help reduce the painful burden you’re carrying.
5. Spend time with those who make you happy
When you let your pain get the best of you, you’ll have an illusion that there are no more good people in your life – the very people who serve as the ideal remedy to you pain. Now that you know this, it is a good idea to surround yourself with such people to remind yourself of the reason why you should still love life.
6. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is not just an exercise, it is a lifestyle. Since it involves keeping yourself in the present, it is the perfect avenue to let go of anything to do with your past and focus on what’s happening – now. This means by practicing mindfulness, you are giving no room for that pain in the past to have control over your present.
7. Practice self-care
There are times you might not need a therapist to help alleviate the emotional pain you’re going through. You have the power to do that by adopting self-care habits. These include: having adequate rest, exercising, eating properly, just to name a few.
8. See a therapist
Sometimes, you see a therapist as the ideal person to help you get out from those dark days. It’s normal to feel that way; after all that’s why they do what they do for a living.